Throwback

I had a whim today; and I followed it.

I visited my old myspace (which I don't think anybody over the age of fourteen or an independent band uses anymore). Mostly I just wanted to remember how I was back in the day (I think the last time I used myspace was about two years ago, though it feels like a lifetime). I read my old blog, looked over my old profile, read my old bio.

I've grown quite a bit.

More than a bit. More than a lot.

There are a few aspects I do miss though. I don't write like I used to do (there was a time in my life when I wished to be an author), and I think this blog is riding the fumes of my brain's pen. Something has changed inside of me, something that's blocking my muse from the freedom of the past and I'm not sure what it is.

I have also forgotten how much I grew in high school. Of course college has nearly eclipsed it, but only because I'm much more "mature" now than I was then. I've nearly learned how to live on my own in less than a year, and that's a lot. I forget that high school, though, was where I learned how to develop myself. It's just become such a natural part of me now that I've forgotten about it.

Oh myspace. How I'm glad I don't use you anymore. And how I'm glad you haven't let me forget yet.

Quickly

I just want to say that, while I still don't disagree with anything I posted earlier (so what if that sounds weird, it makes sense to me), I do realize their bi-partisan approach to the problem of a bi-partisan situation.

Far left requires far right to balance the information.

Bi-partisan politics disgust me, and this is why I disagree with the SBOE's decision(s). And this is why I won't be a politician.

And why I probably won't have any money when I grow up (at least not much will change, right?).

On the flip-side, I should shed light on the fact that my owning a computer does make me among the richest of the world, so I'm not complaining, and I don't intend to take it for granted.

Excuse Me Texas State Education Board?

So this seems to be quite the hot topic out in our country. And this is my blog. And I have something to say. So since its my blog and I have something to say, I'm going to say it. I will rue the day when I'm no longer allowed to do this.

[rant]

Here's the thing. As much as some of our founding fathers (and me) wish that this country was a light on a hill for the world to see, serving as a beacon of Christianity (we at least have succeeded in being a beacon of hope, and there's something to be said for that), this country is not. Changing our country's history to reflect it as an entity it failed to live up to is not only a lie, but it's also disgraceful to Christianity. Personally, I don't want the world to look at this country as an example of God's Nation. I do want them to look at Christians as an example of God's Nation, but America, for all of its greatness, is falling into the ancient trap of global productivity and prosperity, and our history parallels the Roman, Mongolian, etc. histories of the past.

Our nation (and global community) is steadily becoming more anti-Christian in its tolerance of anti-Christian ideals ("Christian sin" vs. "human sin"), and though this burdens me, it's something that has been happening since the founding of our nation. Though we had a good number of Christian founding fathers and their steadfast faiths and visions for our country, there were others that were not Christian. This doesn't mean they're not a part of our history! Lies are and never have been good tools of persuasion State Education Board; I don't care how evangelistic you think you're being. Evangelism starts with yourself, with how you live out the Gospel, so that others can see how Christ lives in you, pointing everything back to Him. It doesn't start with lying to our children about a country that never existed. God doesn't need a country for Himself to prove Himself. His people are His proof. And His people are everywhere.

Okay, so if you're a Christian, you know there's no such thing as separating your faith from the secular. To the Christian, God and the world are intertwined in a way that atomic fission can't separate; people have tried to do this though. Thomas Jefferson wrote our Declaration of Independence! His deism has nothing to do with his importance in American history.

Sorry, Mrs. Dunbar, but capitalism (excuse me, free enterprise) isn't founded upon Christian ideals. Go ahead and argue that one for the state.

And don't get me started on the Second Amendment. It's talking about militia. Period. Keep your guns. But keep them for the right reason, and don't interpret documents (like our Constitution) to fit your wants (especially the Bible).

On the other hand...

God has used America. Most certainly He has. Our free enterprise, though unbiblical, has given rise to opportunities that wouldn't otherwise exist, including ministry. I don't overlook this. I appreciate what our United States has to offer (the fact I can even do this is a wonderful privilege), and I will work while I am here to advance God's kingdom however He sees fit. America has served as a beacon of hope to the world for quite a long time; it also has quite a few Christians. Those two aspects can spawn some wonderful events if used correctly, and I don't intend to take that for granted.

I will not distort the truth of our world, nation, and people to carry out my mission. This is a paradox (and a turn-off to Christianity) to others, a destruction to my witness. I am here to spread the Truth, the Good News, God's glory. He doesn't need me to lie to do that; in fact, he doesn't even need me at all. It's by His grace that I get to come along for the ride.

[/rant]

*Yes, I know html uses <>. However, for some reason or another (I know only the basics of html), my computer reads that as an actual command.

(?)

"Love then, O Socrates, is not as you imagine the love of the beautiful." — "What, then?" — "Of generation and production in the beautiful." — "Why then of generation?" — "Generation is something eternal and immortal in immortality. It necessarily, from what has been confessed, follows that we must desire immortality together with what is good, since Love is the desire that good be for ever present to us. Of necessity Love must also be the desire for immortality."

~Plato

He was definitely one intelligent guy. So I suppose the next question to ask is what is immortality? What is this state--if we can call it that--we desire so much we are willing to overcome natural selfish tendencies and sacrifice those tendencies for others' sakes? Why do we desire it? What is beauty? If love is the generation and production in the beautiful, what is the beautiful?

I feel like all these questions eventually lead back to the beginning. Sure we may know how many things work (Plato seemed to know what love is, I personally think he's missing something else), but what put them here? Is the natural human gravitation to the (relative) aesthetic the product of millions of years of improbability? Is our obsession with meaning and understanding and love just another twist of a very large math equation?

Or maybe to put it a bit more simply, is it possible to overlook the design of our universe?