Limits...

I have recently found teachings on the perception of biocentrism. Unfortunately for you and me at this moment, this concept is incredibly complex and I've only been able to dabble my toes into its murky pool. BUT...I think there's something to be said here and now.

It makes sense AT LEAST that reality is uniquely individual, i.e. that our minds work like CD players. Information comes in, our minds read it and organize it, then they output it into our consciousnesses like a picture show. In such, the objectivity of the "physical" realm becomes much more suspect, and our only real consistency is found in matching up our individual picture shows with others'. Now beyond this is where Dr. Lanza and I have some more reckoning to do, but this is enough information to take me to the next paragraph.

As you either know or are about to know, I strive to call myself a musician, and hopefully one day a teacher of musicians (whether or not I'll actually be teaching traditional music or not is still up in the air). But if we consider the unique perceptions of the individuals' realities, there is a shift in our western musical paradigm to consider.

Consider the sonata form (made famous by Haydn, Mozart, and Beethoven):
Exposition, Development, Recapitulation

Essentially, for the modern mind:
Input, Process, Output

BAM! Music just became incredibly relevant (and I'll bam you again for any other case you wish to find the relevance of music). Expression is how we figure out our perception of the goings-on around us. [Cue the visual, dramatic, and musical arts with regal fanfare.] Creative interpretation of the world around us IS OUR REALITY. Artists don't live in the clouds; they live in their minds. And we're ALL artists, whether you want to be or not, for art is the only way we can perceive reality.

There's so much more to be thought out and said here, but I had to get this out before I lost it. It's midnight, and I'm buzzing. At least I'm awake with purpose though.

Cum Timore

Three passions have governed my life:  

The longings for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

/Bertrand Russell (adapted)

Here a man, with a mind as bright as the stars, and a soul as dark as the space between them. Not evil (at least by human standards), just without light (which is written to be synonymous with evil). And yet, him and I often feel the same.

Over and over again I am faced with the question: what am I doing with my life? Sometimes my answer is the most frightening thing I have ever experienced, because apathy is a dirty, dirty mentality.

And then similarly, my prayer to the Father to change my heart and mind and raise it from the mud of laziness makes my heart race in fear. That must be my fleshly self trying to get away with living in ignorance of the universe. I pray that fear will too be killed within me.

The only fear Christ ever experienced was the time of His separation from His Father. And for good reason! Hell is a rightfully dreaded abyss toward which no one should feel complacency. I pray that God will too instill the same insight (I think we call it wisdom, and the apostles called it sanctification) into my soul, spurring me toward action against inaction, driving me forward with the same intensity that burned within the chest of Jesus Christ.